Dear reader, I offer a clothing conundrum:
When standing in front of the washing machine drum,
how do you determine the ins and the outsides
of textiles that seem to have too many cloth sides?
I’ll help with the laundry. I’ll get the clothes gladly.
I’ll wrangle with hangers and fold the clothes badly.
But sometimes I can’t tell what’s what or what’s whose,
with too many openings. Which hole to choose?
There’s no doubt about it: this clothing’s bizarre.
There’s no understanding this feminine garb.
Which way does this thing go? Is it inside out?
Untangled it still seems all wrong-way about.
I cannot tell whether it tops or it bottoms,
but straps, it has lots, and they’re totally knotted:
spaghetti straps, threefold, all twisted and braided,
plus plastic straps – by which the hanging is aided?
This piece has some layers beneath other layers,
connected by stitches in seams that are fraying.
But why all the layers? They’re over the bosom,
and that explains all, for the eyes that peruse ’em:
They thoroughly cover what’s not to be seen,
and also make bigger the space in between.
The clever designer can play to folk’s fancies
or send them along, send their glancies askancies.
This mesh bag is hooked to these bra clasps, that’s clear.
The straps are all tangled from cups front to rear.
This top was my wife’s, now it’s shrunk way too tight.
Would it fit my daughter? (Would that be alright?)
Men’s clothes are no better. With pouches in pockets,
and linings in swim trunks, and socks vs. socklets,
and flaps with their buttons, they’re just as extreme,
since all clothes are simply more cloth with some seams.
We’re all better off when we doff. Take them off!
You’ll save on your budget. Enough is enoff!
You’ll save time, save water, and other resources.
You’ll save the world! Don’t wait! Do not hold your horses!
Go nude! Everybody should let their skin breathe,
feel sunshine, feel raindrops, feel leaves on the breeze.
You’ll weigh less, you’ll look fine, you’ll love life. You will!
I’m naked. You’re standing there all dressed up still??!!